Alex, a proud Wilmington native, died on December 19, 2023 at age 77. He attended Tower Hill School, Choate School, and graduated from the University of Delaware where he was a member of Sigma Nu fraternity, second in command of the ROTC Brigade, and the varsity lacrosse team which he led in scoring all three years of eligibility (the only Delaware native to do so at least once), the latter two activities he called his “majors” due to the inevitable trip to Vietnam for “grad school.”
Alex then entered the Army as a 2nd lieutenant, attended Armor School at Ft. Knox, KY, served with the 18th Armored Cavalry at Ft. Lewis, WA, Jungle School at Ft. Sherman, Panama Canal Zone, and the 1st Battalion/327th Infantry, 101st Airborne (Airmobile) in northwest South Vietnam as an infantry platoon leader and company executive officer. In Vietnam he was awarded the Combat Infantry Badge, Soldiers Medal (the highest non- combat medal) and others. As he said, he was very lucky to have survived unscathed unlike so many others including his best Army friend, Lt. Carl Peterson of Winchendon, MA, and a Citadel graduate. Alex attained the rank of captain prior to separation from the Army.
Upon his return home, his working career included Wilmington Trust Company, Bank of Delaware, Columbia Gas System, Iron Mountain where he was the director of employee benefits, and AAA Mid-Atlantic, a delightful end to his career (thank you Ron Gray). He obtained his Certified Employee Benefit Specialist designation in 1982 as a charter member of that organization.
Alex was a member of the Wilmington Country Club, Wilmington Club and the Society of Colonial Wars of Delaware.
Alex very much enjoyed being involved in the community doing things for others, a trait he attributed to his mother. He was on the boards of Tower Hill School, Wilmington Country Club, Planned Parenthood of Delaware, Habitat for Humanity of New Castle County, Boys Clubs of Wilmington, University of Delaware Alumni Association, Kennett Pike Association, Philadelphia Squash Racquets Association, Wilmington Lacrosse Association; and president of three civic associations – Westhaven, The Ponds at Greenville and Highlands Place. He was the Program Chair of the New Castle County Vietnam Veterans Memorial on Washington Street in Wilmington that was dedicated in 1983.
He was an avid tennis and squash player (one of the three founders in 1975 of the annual Commissioner’s Invitational), and golfer despite his increasing visual impairment (many thanks to his wife and friends who watched and found his yellow golf balls). He loved watching sports on TV, especially the Phillies, Eagles, Patriots, Red Sox and Connecticut women’s basketball team, and doing crossword puzzles.
He is survived by his loving wife of 46 years Wendy, his three daughters, Lindsay Tonderys (Josh), Jennifer Smolko (Mark), Nicole McCormick (Michael) and their children – Lucy, Eloise, Alli, Ben, Sophie, Michael, John, Lila, and Matthew. He is also survived by his three sisters, Molly Peeples, Lucy Iliff (Charlie), and Eva Douglas. Alex would like to thank the wide circle of friends in Wilmington and beyond who made his, Wendy’s and his family’s lives so enjoyable for so long. The family would also like to thank the wonderful caregivers and nurses who assisted the family during the last few months.
We will be sharing memories of Alex at Wilmington Country Club, 4825 Kennett Pike, Wilmington, DE 19807 at 4:30 PM on Friday, January 5, 2024. He will be interred at Arlington National Cemetery.
In lieu of flowers, Alex suggests contributions to Tower Hill School, 2813 W. 17th Street, Wilmington, DE 19806 or a meaningful charity of your choice.
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