Betty (Elizabeth) Fay Buckwalter Vandenbraak, 97, of Wilmington, Delaware, died peacefully in her residence in Wilmington on Wednesday, April 2, 2025.
Born in 1927, in Wilmington, Delaware, to Carl and Margaret (Livingood) Buckwalter, Betty Fay loved the home she grew up in, which was built by hand by her father. She attended The Forwood School, a one-room school founded in 1799, up to the sixth grade. As a child, she roller skated up and down Marsh Road, now a busy thoroughfare, and loved watching her younger brothers, Bud and Toby, ride their pony. Their family was a close one and shared many happy times. Fay attended Alexis I duPont Middle School and P.S. duPont High School, where she made the honor roll, played on the basketball team, and was voted “most popular girl.” During World War II, Fay wrote letters to friends who enlisted and were sent overseas. One of the young men, Thomas Bayard Vandenbraak, was particularly appreciative of her cheerful notes full of news, humor, and encouragement, and he worked hard to gain her favor upon his return home after the war. Fay and Bayard married on September 11, 1948.
Fay and Bayard had seven children, and Fay’s life was focused on her family. She instilled in her children her strong work ethic, respect and decency toward others, and a steady, practical outlook on life. Fay was a long-time parishioner at St. Mary Magdalen Church. She lived most of her adult life in a haven of a home near the church and St. Mary Magdalen School, which all seven of her children attended. Even with seven children, assorted pets, and many visitors dropping by, Fay had a knack for tucking things tidily away so that her home always felt spacious and welcoming.
To help support her family, and after Bayard’s death, Fay worked outside the home at Pomeroy’s department store, as a teller at Delaware Trust, and in medical insurance. She brought her hard-working, pleasant attitude with her to every job. Her older grandchildren were starstruck by their grandmother when they got to visit her at the bank window.
In her later years, Fay enjoyed time with her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She and her dear companion, Jim Mayhart, enjoyed many outings for dinner and dancing at the DuPont Country Club.
She was generous, warm, and kind. Fay would always put down her ever-present word puzzles and books and listen attentively when her family or friends needed an ear.
Her reading brought the world to her as she traveled through the eyes of adventurous female protagonists in multitudes of books. Her daughters, like the heroines in her novels, chose to venture afar. She was proud of them, although she wished they lived closer by. Luckily, her devoted sons remained closer to home and brought three much-loved daughters-in-law into the family. With a family full of male car buffs, Fay received some light teasing for her trepidation at the wheel and her habit of using two feet when driving- left foot for brake, right foot for gas.
Fay loved birds and flowers. Her house was always beautifully decorated for the seasons with special ornaments and plants. Her back porch was a special place for her, the entire family, and friends to relax, watch nature and the city, and share good food, stories, and jokes.
Fay was a meticulous memory keeper. She treasured family photos and documents and kept them organized in labeled albums, and her family members delighted in looking through them with her and hearing the stories behind the pictures.
She had a long, good life and leaves behind many people who love and admire her. We will miss her and cherish our memories with her. Fay was preceded in death by her husband, Thomas “Bayard” Vandenbraak, her son Thomas “Tommy” B. Vandenbraak, and her brother Dard “Bud” (Doris) Buckwalter. She is survived by her brother Carl “Toby” (Gerri) Buckwalter, her sons Steve (Cheryl), Carl (Deb), and Kurt (Pam) Vandenbraak, her daughters, Mary E. (Reggie) Blaisdell, Carol (Norm) Reid, and Suzanne (Ted) Tompkins, 15 grandchildren, and 15 great-grandchildren (with another one coming soon!)
A Mass of Christian Burial will be held on Wednesday, April 16, 2025, at 10:00 a.m. at St. Mary Magdalen Church, 7 Sharpley Road, Wilmington, DE. Interment will follow at Cathedral Cemetery. A visitation will be held on Tuesday, April 15, 2025, from 6:00-8:00 p.m. at Chandler Funeral Home, 2506 Concord Pike, Wilmington, DE.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions can be made to Compassionate Care Hospice. 702B Wilmington Ave., Wilmington, DE 19805. The family expresses gratitude especially to Bianca Angol and Wanda Alvarodo from Compassionate Care.
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