Barbara Dashiell Flinn Quillen

Barbara Quillen (Barb), a lifelong resident of Delaware, died on Friday, July 7, 2023, at the age of 93. Barb was born the daughter of Dr. Irvine Moore Flinn Jr. and Margaret Dashiell Flinn in Wilmington, DE. Growing up outside Newark, she enjoyed farm adventures with her sister, Fairfax.  She attended Wilmington Friends School graduating in 1947, where she played basketball and field hockey. She attended Endicott Junior College and received her nursing degree in 1952 from Union Memorial Hospital in Baltimore, MD. Medicine was a family affair with Barb assisting her father, an orthopedic surgeon, in the operating room after she finished nursing school.

At Wilmington Friends, Barb met her husband Robert James Quillen Jr. (Jim). They married in 1954 and settled in New Castle. Together they raised two children, Anne and Bob. They followed in their parents’ footsteps to Wilmington Friends School, where Barb continued to be a loyal supporter, connecting with classmates and cheering on her children at their sporting events.

Barb was very active in the New Castle and Wilmington communities. She was a member of Immanuel Episcopal Church and longtime attendee of New Castle Presbyterian Church. One of her unique gifts was her way with flowers. In addition to a lovely garden at their house on The Strand, she shared her passion as a member of the Arasapha Garden Club of New Castle. She was chairwoman of the Delaware Flower Show and created beautiful displays for weddings, funerals, church services and events in and out of her home.

Barb enjoyed traveling, from visiting Europe, while Jim was stationed there with the Army, to their road trips to Florida to visit friends, to exploring the shores of Hawaii. Friends and family brought her joy, and being by the water brought her calm. Together, Barb and Jim found comfort in Lewes, as a home away (but not too far) from home. Their cottage is a gathering place for now four generations. Her friendships rooted those of her family that followed. Her laughter rang through the air over cocktails, through the waves bouncing on a motorboat and through the dunes from the porch.

Caring and hosting came naturally to Barb, which she did in her reserved, gentle way.  Professionally this was shown by her leadership of the Visiting Nurse Association and being a member of the Junior Board of Christiana Care. She sparkled in her love for Jim, in her care for her grandchildren, and in seeing others bloom and enjoy life. She also found joy on the dance floor, especially when the music was right for the Jitterbug.

Several years after Jim died, the countryside called her back and Barb returned, settling in Cokesbury Village in Hockessin for her final years.  Her family thanks the staff at Cokesbury Healthcare for all of their loving care and kindness.

Barb is survived by her daughter, Anne Dashiell Quillen Donecker, and son-in-law, Dr. John (Jay) Marchant Donecker, of Reidsville, NC, two grandchildren, Dr. James Flinn Donecker and Sherrie Marchant Donecker, and a great-granddaughter, Lily Evelyn McGill Donecker. Barb was predeceased by her son, Robert Irvine Quillen, and husband of 54 years, Robert James Quillen Jr.